don't the light in

once I start feeling sad, how do I stop? it's not as if whatever was making be sad suddenly disappeared. but am I supposed to be sad forever? how is that emotion supposed to dissipate? isn't it just easier to not feel anything at all? how can I be sad well?

Well, Riley, what a silly question, the helpful interlocutor will suggest. It's just whatever feels right for you. oh, well thank you. didn't think of that one, I'll just sit here and feel it out. but then what? I just shove the sadness away and continue with my every day life? I physically cannot be sad all of the time, that would be exhausting. but then is sadness something I can just opt in to whenever I think it's a good time to get in touch to my emotive side? that also feels wrong. 

Well, Riley, your emotions shouldn't be living on the back burner. It's important to know what you're feeling, and to sit in that discomfort sometimes. okay, sure. so I snap, I sob inconsolably, and with trembling hands, phone a friend–an act that is disconcertingly difficult, I might add–and then she holds me and encourages me, and then we part ways. and then I just go on with my day? as if I wasn't twenty minutes ago drenched in tears? did my life circumstances change? no. did I change? also no? but then I was sad and now I'm not?

Well, Riley no, don't you get it? Your emotions don't have to make sense to you, in fact they often don't make sense. There are some feelings you will know like the back of your hand, my friend adds, but other emotions will just spill out of your hands and fall into God's. oh, I like that image actually. that takes all the control out of my hands, quite literally.